Shopping for cat collar

I'm doing the moving preparation bit by bit. Sorted out my clothing and books and few other stuff than I'm going to take it with me. Then stuff for my cat, Only. This spoil-brat got his microchip couple of weeks ago and fully vaccinated.

My friend Sarah already applied for Only's import permit. The export permit and MAF permit are currently in progress, all these handled by the pet transporter company. Honestly I can't do it on my own I'd rather pay NZD$1200 for services that handle everything for my cat. I got too many things in my head. At time like this (big move), I need peace and calm so that I can think straight. Hoping that I make the best decision.

So last week, after finishing work on saturday we went to Ponsonby Vet to get his collar. I know he already got microchipped. Yes, that's helpful to the custom officer but normal people don't have the gadget to read it. And what worries me if he wonder off in my kampung at least some people know who's the owner of the cat. I didn't put my name though, on the engraving. Put my dad's name, he's known all over Batu 10 and maybe few miles radius! He is.

First we chose the collar. I didn't they got lots of it in many different style. Some were "everyday wear", "formal wear" (to where? royal cat wedding?), and also "night wear". I chose the later. Should Only wonder off at night at least people could see him from the light reflective collar. I won't know what will happen to him in Malaysia. In here here's very domesticated probably because we live in an apartment but once he get use to the big space in kampung he might be an Indiana Jones kind of cat. Bringing home treasure i.e small baby comodo dragon like my old cat used to. Put it under the bed. Urghhh..

Then we chose the bag, I asked Only to sniff if but he wasn't interested. This quite the hardest part. I want to choose the big one but i was thinking it will look odd on him. Think the big one suit a dog better. Doesn't matter if it's big or small the price remain the same. Fine, I decided on the small one. Then I stuck with the design. They all look cute. After much deliberation, I chose the glitter one. Nothing glamour, just because it will reflect light at night. Again for security and safety reason.

Couple days ago we got the engraved tag. Oh, they didn't do it there. It has to be done in Australia. I have no idea why but as long as I got it before Only flying to Malaysia is fine with me. Now every preparation for Only has been done. Just waiting for tomorrow to drop him off at the cattery before my flight to Christchurch.

Uwaaa..I'm going to miss sleeping without him for a week.

Deciphering Dream: Part 2

I think for this part, I had to make it the final one. I knew I had series of dreams in one night but this last one is the one that gave lasting impression to me.

In that dream, I was walking from AirAsia bus (that could fly) that I just drove from Christchurch to a road that went uphill. At the foot of the hill there was sort of security bar. It lifted as I walk to it. Then suddenly the road become flat. I saw three boys were having shower on the road side. It looked like the pipe burst but it wasn't. I could see. There was a hose there on the ground but somehow the water fountaining from the ground. These three boy were naked. Aged within 7 to 9 year old. They were malay judging by the skin colour. One of the boy, I could remember his face, from eyes downward, his face was black. Covered by smoke. He tried to clean it up.

So how do I decode this? Let me try these keyword at dreammoods - three, naked, boy, shower, black, face.

Three

Three signifies life, vitality, inner strength, completion, imagination, creativity, energy, self-exploration and experience. Three stands for a trilogy, as in the past, present, and future or father, mother, and child or body, mind, and soul, etc.Dream of the number three may be telling you that the third time is the charm.

Oh-my-god, this is scary. I am constantly exploring myself trying to understand my needs and wants. More like quest to find out what I want to end up with- I mean career wise. I'm constantly making plan. from A - Z and I stuck with too many options and constantly think of contingency (career) plans. Yes, I always reflect my past, constantly making plan for future in present time. Sometime I think too much and I don't what I had in front of me for the time being.

Naked

To see a naked person in your dream and you are disgusted by it, represents some anxiety about discovering the naked truth about that person or situation. It may also foretell of an illicit love affair, a loss of prestige or some scandalous activity. On the other hand, if you are accepting of someone else's nudity, then it implies that you can see right through them and their intentions. Or perhaps, you are completely accepting them for who they are. If you do not care about someone else's nudity, then it suggests that you need to learn not to be afraid of rejection.

I was disgusted by the nudity neither I like it. I didn't see any private parts. But I knew they were but naked. In this case, nudity for kids is acceptable. My nephews and niece running around naked at home. Before and after shower of course. Back to this keyword meaning, I do have the ability to see through people something that just came to me since I was in high school. I'm pretty good with judging character even though I knew they had ulterior motives or "wanting benefit", it didn't bother me much because I became very mindful. But it kills me if my friend is falling in love with an asshole. I can't tell her he's an asshole or she's a whore. I don't want to be unhappy. I usually let them be happy BUT when things turn to shit, I'd say, you know what I knew he was blahlalal.

I agree, I accept people for who they are. Because I tried and did opened up my heart to someone who totally out of my ideal.

Boy

If you are an adult male and dream that you see or are a boy, then it suggests your playful, innocent, childlike nature. Alternatively, it can symbolize the immature aspects of yourself that still needs to grow. Your inner child may be trying to draw your attention to parts of yourself that you need to recognize and acknowledge.

If my sister read this bit, she will definitely nod her head like a japanese parrot! She would agree with this. I am very childish. Personality wise. Not my mentality. Perhaps this dream trying to draw my attention to what I like to do when I was a kid and pursue that.When I was a kid, my best time was from 4 days old till the last day I stayed with my adopted mum (9 year-old). That was where all the fun happened. I had a real childhood back then. Riding my old chopper bike everywhere carrying my three other friends on it. That was when I fancied my late aunt Kuih Sarang Semut. But ambition wise at that time, I wanted to be a fireman.

If the dream telling me to be that, I don't think so. That's not going to happen. But wait a minute, isn't it pretty obvious, I should do something with Sarang Semut. I'm good at it. Every year people were asking me about it and I've been thinking about it as well. I mean to commercialise it- one way for me to stay in Tanjong Karang looking after my parent and my cat.

Shower

To dream that you are showering with someone, suggests that there is something that you need to "come clean" or confess to this person. It is time to be honest. Perhaps the dream is telling you that you need to let down your guard. If you are showering with a group of people, then it means that you are feeling exposed. You feel that your sense of privacy is being invaded.

I'm not sure who should I come clean with. Maybe the time will tell who that person will be. Maybe it means being straight forward? You think?

Black
Black symbolizes the unknown, the unconscious, danger, mystery, darkness, death, mourning, rejection, hate or malice. The color invites you to delve deeper in your unconscious in order to gain a better understanding of yourself. It also signifies a lack of love and lack of support.More positively, black represents potential and possibilities. It is like a clean or blank slate.

This intrigued me. Very. I do afraid of the unknown and that explain why I had so many plans. I just to be prepared. Knowing what to do next. Another reason why I want to come back- my parent. Mum is 60 and dad in approaching 70. We all know life expectancy isn't that high in Malaysia. Somehow my stupid brain went to the extend worrying me what will happen if they die when I'm in Auckland. Okay, I had this series of history of not being able to attend funeral. From my aunts, my uncles, my grandparent, to even my my best friend. There would always be a certain thing that stop me from seeing them from the last time. Like bad traffic. Bus. Exam. So I don't want to miss my parent's funeral. I wanted to be there. I want to hear their last breathe. I want to urus their jenazah. So this unknown thing really kill me. Auckland and Kuala Lumpur is 12 hours away. No way for my family members to keep their body just for me. I don't think I can forgive myself if I'm not there.

As what it suggests-

to delve deeper in your unconscious in order to gain a better understanding of yourself. I don't think I'm going to do that. My head already broken while searching my soul. Don't let me think deeper. But I agree that I am lack of love and support in here. I pretty much by myself here. No social support like those in Malaysia. Most things I just suck it up. I kept too much to myself in here. It drives me nuts. I do hope black to bring opportunity for me in Malaysia. Give me big break.

Face

To dream that you are washing your face, suggests that you need to come clean about some matter.

Again, coming clean. Didn't I entitle to some secret just between me and myself?

Conclusion.

It's pretty obvious that I've been thinking about (returning to) Malaysia too much. Conscious and subconsciously. Some says dream is mainan tidur but I don't care if this dream is a game my brain played with me to reassure me that it is fine to return to where I belong. I like it. Everyone need some level of assurance in our life. Some people might ask their friend, am I looking fat in this black shirt. Some might ask, should I eat Burger King. We ask even though we know what we are or what we want. As for me who can I ask?

Deciphering Dreams: Part 1

On Sunday, the nation turn their clock an hour behind to save the daylight. Basically we gain extra hour. Means I had 25 hours a-day on Sunday to made the lost of one hour during the summer daylight saving. Anyway, this adjustment of time didn't really adjust my biological clock. Somehow it disrupt my whole bodywork. For example, in the morning I thought it was 10:30am but it was actually 9:30am, the light, the position of sun, the shadow on the ground fooled me. To make it worst I had a very deep afternoon nap. The sort of sleep when you wake up you totally feel disoriented.

So that night I sleep as per my usual time around 9:30 - 10pm. But that was according to the clock but if it to following the clock in me, it was only around 8:30! And this could mean one thing- to wake as per my normal time 5:30-ish. I did indeed woke up at 5:30. 5:30 of my body clock and not the nation's clock. Which mean I woke up at 4:30 bloody am.

I forced myself to sleep again. Tossed and turned. I guessed Only (my cat) was pretty annoyed because I moved too much. Oh let me tell you about Only and his pantang on the bed- do not rock the bed when he's asleep, i really mean DO NOT, else he would give you this killer look, squinted eyes and stared atme like he was telling "you better stop that or else you'll be sorry." No he won't attack me. But he would jump off the bed and made this weird noise like he was cursing me in some sort of cat language.

In the end, I did fall asleep. But weird enough I had multiple dreams and kept waking up after each one ended. Few of the dreams were so vivid I could remember the details. Even today, 2 days after that night I still remember them. Then I updated my facebook status as follows:

"sleepless night last night..keep waking up and i dreamt a lot...saw mum and my sis having rojak..saw 2 naked boys showered in public..saw MAS plane..saw i was driving AirAsia bus but it could fly from CHC-KUL..and saw my dad...what a night..think my heart is already in Malaysia. I'm ready for the next big move"

Then it struck me, why didn't I found out what those dreams means? This is where the fun begins. I googled around and found something. For this part, I am going to decode the meaning of seeing my mum and my sister eating rojak in a restaurant.

Sister

To see your sister in your dream, symbolizes some aspect of your relationship with her, whether it one of sibling rivalry, nurturance, protectiveness, etc. Your sister may draw attention to your family role. Or the dream may also serve to remind you that someone in your waking life has characteristics similar to your sister. Alternatively, your sister may be a metaphor for a nun. In this case, she may represent some spiritual issues.

Mother
To see your mother in your dream, represents the nurturing aspect of your own character. Mothers offer shelter, comfort, life, guidance and protection. Some people may have problems freeing themselves from their mothers and are thus seeking their own individuality and development.

To dream that you are having a conversation with your mother, denotes a matter that has preoccupied your mind and you are not sure how to deal with it in your waking life. It indicates unresolved problems that need to be worked out with your mother.

To hear your mother call you in our dream, suggests that you have been negligent in your duties and responsibilities. You are pursuing down the wrong path

Eating
To dream that you are eating alone, signifies loss, loneliness, and depression. You may feel rejected, excluded, and cut off from social/family ties. Eating may be a replacement for companionship and provide a form of comfort. Alternatively, eating alone reflects independent needs. Also consider the pun, "what's eating you up?" in reference to anxiety that you may be feeling.

To dream that you are eating with others, signifies harmony, intimacy, merriness, prosperous undertakings, personal gain, and/or joyous spirits.

To dream that you are overeating or not eating enough, signifies a lack of spirituality and fulfillment in your waking life. Food can represent love, friendship, ambition, sex or pleasure in your life. Thus, food is a metaphor to fulfill and gratify your hunger for love and desires. If you are refusing to eat, then it indicates that you want to be more independent and not rely on others so much. If you dream that you are a picky eater, than it indicates that you are holding back something.If you are currently dieting in your waking life, then the dream may serve to compensate for the sustenance that you are lacking.

To dream that someone clears away the food before you finish eating, foretells that you will have problems and issues from those beneath you or dependent upon you.

Restaurant

To dream that you are in a restaurant, suggests that you are feeling overwhelmed by decisions and choices that you need to make in your life. Alternatively, it indicates that you are seeking for emotional nourishment outside of your social support system.

My Interpretation.

I did played a central role in the family when I was in Malaysia. I see myself like a router that connect several pc in the networking system. I seriously in need of guidance of an elder, I became lost each day not religiously but for the past several years despite what I had achieved in life I feel like I had no anchor. I live in New Zealand but I don't feel belong here and when I home for 8 months also I felt didn't belong there. It was an inner struggling that I tried to brush it off but it still bug me everyday. So the past few year there's this urge in me to settle in one place or one country, I don't want to go everywhere but gets me nowhere! Then when I decided to not renewing my stay in here (New Zealand) any longer, I felt more lost. Doubting myself will this be a best decision I ever made or will it (my return) be the biggest flop of my life. Thus, I seriously need guidance. Too late to do solat istikharah as I'm very determine to go home.

The dream interpretation of eating with other somehow give me a clear indication that I am about to make a right decision. I love the harmony in my family and close and intimate we are. One of the reason I go home because my parent are getting older and I want to be there for them. It's about time for me to repay them. Time for us to be family again, the complete six.

The meaning of restaurant sum it all, the personal struggle I have to face everyday. From career choice to everything, the need to decide poke me from all angles like facebook poke who have to click individually to poke back. Indeed I'm seeking emotional nourishment outside my social network in New Zealand- the quest that soon bring me back to Malaysia.

It was so clear why I had dream, I've been thinking about Malaysia in my subconscious mind

What's in my iTunes right now?

Don't fret I ain't going to list kazillion of songs I had which I don't even listen to. But these are 3 songs I that I played back to back and if you're my housemate these songs will stick to your head for days. I really mean it.

1. Katy Perry - The One That Got Away

This song and the lyric somehow bring me back to high school days. Even though I never had a lover back then but somehow I can picture myself just like the lyric. When I listen to this song, I feel young, innocent and naive. Indeed when we were young at that ages we always plan the future. I remember one day, my bestfriend Fathin and his then-boyfriend Muaazam made a pact, if they are not married when they turn 28, they were going to marry each other even if they were no longer together by then. Now they both 29 years old, Fathin married another man and Muaazam (his wife actually) happily popping up babies, he had a son and just recently the blessed with a daughter.

You see my point, when we were young we were so naive. We thought the world going to be how we want it to be. But being an adult is not how it crack up to be. Sucks . Katy Perry really teleports me back to time. God knows how many time I repeat this song. Thanks god I got earphone and no one sit next to me in the office else someone would've kill me with a blunt pencil.

Another reason, herm I can't really write this on but all I can tell I'm the one that got away and I think I no longer their muse so before I start to listen to the "music" of which definitely not an ear candy, it's like a perfect timing for me to leave. Unlike the song, I won't expect for another life to make that person ask me to stay. It's just enough. It's been bland for a year despite my many attempts to spice it up. You got the picture.

2. Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man

This song by the English band fits many categories why I'm obsessed and can't have enough of it. One of the obvious reason, their tunes sounded Irish-y. Maybe the fiddle. Some people knows how obsess I am with Irish and Ireland. Who can I blame? The media. Grown up with The Corrs, Boyzone, Westlife and watching Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog (even though it's actually American TV series shot in Ireland), all these (media) exposure shape the Irish and Ireland in my head. Like a euphoric. Few friends told me about Irish and the Ireland (government) and how fucked they were but I refused to listen. I have to be there to hate but for now let me have some Irish fetish in my head, I told them.

The other reason is, the lyric.

Weep for yourself, my man,

You'll never be what is in your heart

Weep Little Lion Man,

You're not as brave as you were at the start

Rate yourself and rake yourself,

Take all the courage you have left

Wasted on fixing all the problems

That you made in your own head

I'm born a Leo The Lion. I used to be so brave before with Just Do It as my motto. Now it's like the lion has been domesticated into a pussy cat. I have about 40 plus days before going back to Malaysia but I constantly doubt my decision. Whether will it the best ever I made made or will it be the end of my heyday. I have no idea why I feel that way. At the age of 24 I left the country without thinking much and look where it got me- everywhere. But right now as I'm approaching 30 I became a very analytic person constantly asking myself the "what if" situation- the negative way. I serious hate my head now. I wish I could replace it with my 24 year-old head. Much simpler and a risk taker. Perhaps that's what I should do. Drop everything here just like how I dropped a promising career as a PR Executive back in 2007. Plus I got nothing to loose in here. I got no baggage. I serious need to put my head to one thing- which is to commercialise Kuih Sarang Semut (for Raya 2011) rather constantly making plans (like if plan A doesn't work better have plan B to Z. See, all it got me just a negative ones) as what the lyric said, wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head.

Unlike the song, they have fucked it up but it's not too late for me. I still got time to NOT fuck it up. That's why I constantly play this song in my iTunes- to motivate me, to remind me who I was before. The Little Lion Man from Asia.

3. Sugarland - Stuck Like Glue

This country band, I never heard of it before. Just because they are not world famous (not until last night) they weren't good. They got awesome tunes. Last night I watched American Idol result show and this band played this song. I was like, this is really catchy. I missed when Ryan S introduced the band. At first I thought they were Lady Antebellum. But after they finished performing Ryan said some like Sugar blalala. I missed it again. So I thought sugar ray. Then I googled. Nay, wrong one. Hurm, I typed new keywords sugar + american idol. I scrolled down the list and voila, I found it on a country music website. Don't you just love Google? Best invention ever.

Immediately I downloaded them on iTunes. Since I got over 30 dollar iTunes credit (thanks to ASB Bank). Since then and now, which is 12 hours from the first time that song debuted in my head I have listen to it over 20 times! Yes, I'm obsessed. It's so catchy I want to keep dancing and moving and it just make me happy. Like a drug for me.

That's all for now, enjoy the rest of the weekend.

xoxo,

Ed

I want an iPad 2