4 Years of First Day of Eid

Mood: Excited

That year was my first time celebrating Eid away from my family and abroad. I was looking forward for it even before I came to New Zealand! I flew to Christchurch on the eve of Eid to hang out with Muiz, Malaysian student whom I known through Sarah Nadlin, a classmate of mine who did her Working Holiday after graduation.

Contrary to popular believe, I didn't cry or sad at all on the morning of Eid. I was intrigued to know how it feels to pray in the open in Hagley Park. It was absolutely beautiful, with the weather on our side and the spring sun shining bright. One thing about Eid in Christchurch, the takbir only done by the Imam and the makmum just stay quite. Something different from how we do it in Malaysia.

After the pray I mingled with the Malaysian community there and stumbled upon a junior of mine back in secondary school- Aini, a med student doing her clinical year in Christchurch Hospital. Totally didn't expect that. Then we all went to an open house hosted by a Ph.D candidate. With the food and the people, no way I was going to miss Eid in Malaysia.

I headed to city after my belly stuffed. While waiting for the tram in front of Christchurch Cathedral, a local asked me, "Dude are you wearing skirt?"

"Nayh."

Then at the gallery another local come to me.

"Baju Melayu!"

"How do you know?" I wondered. He explained, he did homestay in Negeri Sembilan and was taught how to die the sampin. Suddenly there were surge of pride. From an ignorant comment to a well-informed kiwi aware about my culture. I spend the rest of the of the day at the Botanical Garden and punting on the Avon river.

The next day, I left Christchurch to explore some part of South Island to Timaru, to Victorian town of Oamaru and browsing in one of the its few antiques stores, before reaching the final leg in Dunedin. It's was definitely one of my favorite Eid getaway.

Mood: Joy

2008 Eid was definitely the bomb. Here's why. Few months before Eid I happened to know that my college mate lived in Hamilton accompanying his wife studying in Waikato University. We got in touch and soon and even before the cresent of Ramadhan appeared, I knew that I was going to celebrate it there. So I arrange time off at work for the Eid.

I took a two-hour bus ride to their place on the eve of Eid. That evening his wife was busy making chicken rice for the final break fast and of course for Eid as well. I thought the cooking has finish after the dusk but they were waiting for the announcement of Eid from FIANZ then few more friends came to their pad to cook! Way before midnight. Honestly it reminded me of Malaysia.

The morning was such a fiasco, we all busy. I have no idea why. There were only three of us. Adlan forgot to sew his sampin and I come to the rescue with my not-so-magic finger of which I sew it inside out! But with a secret way of folding the sampin, he managed to hide it!

We went to one of the Malaysian family home. Did our pray there instead of at the mosque. One thing about Hamilton that I notice, there were more Malaysian families than the bachelors compared to Christchurch and all those families have their own open houses. We eat non-stop from one house to another fro m morning until night! I didn't even do that in Malaysia.

So tell me how could I miss Eid in Malaysia?

Mood: Glad to be home.

After two years away from home, I finally got home in March. Months leading to Ramadhan, me, my mum and my sister already discussed what were we going to wear. We chose purple. But my brother and his 6 kids. I repeat yes, 6 kids chosen royal yellow! It screamed -MISMATCH!

Glad to be home to help my mum in the kitchen and worked with my sister was something that I really like. We joked around. Made stupid comment about each other. Tell you what, my mum like to act silly too. The tiga beranak in the kitchen sounded more like 30 people.

The morning of Eid at home was really a nightmare- my brother and sister fighting over toilet, my brother screamed couldn't find his butang baju melayu, mum, me and my sister scuffled in front of the mirror, my nephews or nieces crying. Those are the morning commotion that I love about my family.

But the celebration stopped for me soon after the pray. Well I like people coming to my house but somehow I feel empty like something was missing and I started to miss the Eids that I had in New Zealand. I wished I was away for the Eid. Like going for a holiday but what's the point of coming back to Malaysia and not celebrating it with family?

Mood: WTF am I doing here?

"I'm not going to take annual leave this year (for Eid)" I said.

"I don't want to lost over hundred of dollar. I'm saving my AL for my next year!"

So I lived to my words.

The Morning of Eid, I woke up like any other morning. The celebrating mood hasn't sunk in yet. Few days earlier I told Josephine, a Malaysian in Hamilton, I wasn't going to celebrate Eid since I have no Malay muslim friend anymore in New Zealand.

After I got out of shower, while I was choosing what to wear suddenly my hand was looking for my baju melayu. Subconsciously. Perhaps the celebration mood sank on my hand first! So I put it on and constantly asked my white housemate, "Does this look okay?", "How's the colour?", "Does this look girly?", pointing at my sampin. I told him I was quite embarrassed to wear baju melayu primarily because I didn't want the Malay community in Auckland know that I am Malaysian! One thing about me, I kept away from Malay in Auckland.

When I put it on immediately I had second thought. I felt like going to mosque than go to work but then I didn't know the praying time. I googled it but nothing came up. I stayed at home quite awhile before making my decision but I ended up going to work. The closer I get to the office the 'heavier at heart' I felt.

Soon as I get to my floor, I walked straight to Nas, my bestfriend, a Muslim as well and hugged her. I started to cry. I miss my family. I miss the solat Eid ul-Fitr. This is the first time in my entire life I haven't been to perform Eid ul-Fitr pray. I felt really, really bad towards myself.

I felt horrible the whole day for being so materialist and calculative. Now I know how the Christian feel if they have to be alone or work on the Christmas Day.

Note: Careful what you wish for, it might come true even at time when you didn't need it anymore.